7-Reasons Holding You Back
Are you constantly in the pursuit of happiness, but never seem to really achieve it?
Maybe you do, but it never seems to stick around long enough for you to enjoy.
Is it actually possible – true happiness?
Is it within everyone’s reach, or is it only for the lucky, more fortunate ones?
Hold up a minute…
What does it actually mean to live a life of true happiness & fulfilment?
How does one achieve this status in life?
The concept is actually quite simple.
We tend to over-complicate it.
It keeps us safe.
In order to live a fulfilled and happy life, you must be living a life authentic to who you are, your purpose, be open to change, have the ability to grow & adapt and be willing to discover your potential & evolve.
It’s about not settling for anything less.
The act of following such purpose, makes you an extraordinary person, even if you don’t believe it.
Living the ‘good life’ does not come easy & certainly, does not come down to luck.
It takes courage.
It takes guts.
It takes resilience.
We tend to look at ‘successful’ people and wonder why we can’t have what they have. We start to make excuses in our mind that they are successful because….
They are more beautiful, people are naturally drawn to them
They are smarter than me, of course they are more successful
They have more money
They are so confident, I could never do that
They are just natural at it
They just don’t have fear
They….. (insert your beliefs here)
And hey, there is nothing wrong those views, It’s the way we’re brought up in society to think. Playing it safe is the real game. The real success. We've been taught to hold a lot of meaning on achieving external values such as money, and therefore we become driven from our need for certainty and security.
“If you go to university and get a degree you will get the ‘Career’ and that will eventually pay the high salary if you work hard enough. Money is everything! If you have money, you will be secure, safe, happy, it buys the things you need in life - it's for certain”.
While that may be true in external values, it does not mean that once you have achieved those certain results that you will have your internal values met – feeling happy and fulfilled.
Internal values are the ones that you FEEL. You can’t buy them. They are not possessions. They are the emotions you want to feel. Your happiness. Your worthiness. Your fulfilment.
Have you ever wondered why so many ‘wealthy’ people, even after having all that money, the big house and fancy car, still somehow end up feeling lonely and unhappy?
I understand how it feels to chase money. I was driven by it. I had no other values, all I knew was that I needed, wanted and desired more money.
Climbing the corporate ladder for 11 years, I achieved a great salary, but boy, did it come with sacrifice. It meant that I spent a decade in a job that held no meaning, that disconnected me from my purpose, that provided no personal growth, that kept me in a box and told me I was never good enough to reach that next promotion, a ‘career’ that pretty much sucked out my soul…and yet I stayed.
My need for certainty was being met with the security of a pay-check, it gave me over $100k salary, I did it, I was ‘successful’ to the world... I had the house, the money, the expensive holidays, the fancy car – two in fact, a family…
If I had all of that, and was ‘successful’ then why was I so depressed?
I felt I had no purpose, I was definitely unfulfilled, I felt I wasn’t really helping anyone & I wasn’t growing at all. I was ‘stuck in a rut’.
I learnt the hard way, that money does not always equal happiness.
I learnt that If you continue to chase money & forget who you are in the process, you can end up feeling empty once you have that high paying salary.
I also learnt that there are also resourceful & un-resourceful ways to achieve your core needs & meet your values.
I learnt what my values actually where for the first time ever!
I learnt that you have to seek change & not wait for someone to ‘save you’. You have to want it and you have to make it happen.
So what does hold us back?
Why do we settle for less?
Why do we allow ourselves to get in the way, of achieving our dreams?
Can we really stretch ourselves and become more than what we have previously allowed?
Our dreams start to fade as the hustle & bustle of life takes us 30 years down the road and suddenly we wake up in reflection, “is this all life has to offer?”
Too many of us get caught up in the drive for certainty, life gets busy and we forget what we actually want from life. We live but we don’t live.
7-Reasons that hold us back – which ones are holding you back?
Fear – Fear of success, fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of being vulnerable, fear of yourself & what you can become.
Guilt – Guilty to have success, guilty feeling that you’re not worthy enough, not good enough, you don’t deserve it.
Too Hard – settling because it’s easier, it’s safe, we can end up anaesthetising our disappointment and unhappiness through external means like watching too much TV or over-eating, we have too many reasons of why not
Overwhelm – looking at the big picture can be overwhelming, instead of looking at the small steps ahead of you
Believing we are less then what we are –labelling ourselves as “just this” for example, “I’m just a mum”. We limit our potential. We create a label about ourselves on who we are and what we can do, which then becomes our identity.
Illusion of control –you like what you don’t know because it’s familiar, safe, comfy. After all exploring new territory may be outside of your control and therefore outside of your comfort levels.
- Too Busy –Finding too many reasons why not to do something due to our internal belief systems and values. Life can be busy and we prioritise tasks that are safe, where we get so caught up in just living our life we forget to stop and reflect on what we actually want from life.
All of these fears are called limiting beliefs.
Beliefs that limit your potential. That keep you safe.
It never goes away either. That voice in your head telling you all the reasons you can't & why not to do something. If you are thinking, I'll just wait until I get more confident, more this, more that...you're wasting your time.
The only way to move forward is to start taking action! That little voice inside your head won't go away, but it will get quieter.The stronger you get, the softer the voice. You can choose to live your life boxed in, held back by these fears, or take action.
As Tony Robbins says, most of us live the boxed life... “going about life, living in your perfect little box, eating your cereal out of a box, getting in your box car, walking into a box office, typing on your box computer, coming home in your box car, eating your box dinner on the box sofa, watching… yup you guessed it… the BOX!”
I’m no saint either. I lived in a box for years. 11 to be exact.
Trust me, I have fears just like you!
So, what holds me back?
I might seem outgoing and confident on the outside, but on the inside, my deepest fears are…
- Fear of judgment – fearing what people think of me
- Lack of self-worth – feeling I am not good enough, nothing I do is ever good enough
- Self-Sabotage – I give up on myself before I can achieve anything because it’s too painful. Growing hurts. It’s confronting, emotional. I’m too scared to get out of my comfort zone.
- Not prepared to face my fears – it’s too scary
These fears had me playing the role of people-pleaser, procrastinator & perfectionist.
You know what though, I have the awareness now to change it.
I have the awareness that this is just my own BS & it doesn’t have to be this way.
That I can have more, I just have to seek it. I have to want it. Really want it. I have to own it. I have to take responsibility for my happiness, because it’s no-one elses job, but my own.
I’ve worked on conscious awareness, sub-conscious awareness, re-wiring my conditioning and programming & can now say I am living, honouring and being my authentic self.
I am living my life true to who I am (finally) and it feels frickin epic!
When you can stand in your own power, from a position of ego-strength, you radiate a glow from within. Ego-Strength is standing in your personal power, knowing with certainty, who you are, what you stand for & honouring yourself with love. You possess compassion for others & contribute generously. You feel happy, energetic and on the journey, living your purpose, passion & feeling fulfilment along the way.
When you choose to retire from the roles you play, choose to retire from victim-hood and seek more awareness in your life, only then will you hold the keys to your potential.
You will start to unlock things about yourself you never knew were possible for you.
What seemed the impossible, now becomes the possible.
The limits shift.
It now becomes, within your reach.
What’s Your Limiting Blueprint?
- What fears hold you back?
- What roles are you playing out?
(victim, procrastinator, comfort seeker, people-pleaser, self-sabotager)
- How do you want to wake up everyday feeling?
- What do you actually want to achieve in life?
- What is important to you?
- What have you dreamed of, but never thought it would be possible?
If you're feeling brave enough to share, comment below with your Limiting Blueprint, I'd love to hear from you!
(Yes, I am genuinely curious, no, I’m not trying to sell you anything) …
If you’d love to chat about your blueprint & how you can create change, email me you’re your blueprint directly to email@example.com and let’s connect!